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Feb. 27th, 2014 12:43 am[Filter: Private]
I feel as though I've stuck myself in conundrum.
It was clear to me that the moment the two of them took a liking to me that they weren't truly the Dragons. They would know exactly what I am about the moment I enter their presence. They should know the kind of man I am without me saying a word. I can put on a caring face, and that is good enough for them? The mask that I use to fool people into believing that I am truly a Dragonfearing man?
It's not simply that these are not the Dragons because the Dragons are not real. These are not the Dragons because they cannot look right through me and see my fraud. I've served in their name for years, I've helped so many in their name for years, and I haven't truly believed in Them at all in all that time.
I've ceased all my questioning though. How can I question them without revealing the only real reason I can disprove them?
Worse still, what if they are the Dragons, and They do see through me? What if they still think I'm good enough despite only using them as an excuse to help people?
...
I feel as though I've stuck myself in conundrum.
It was clear to me that the moment the two of them took a liking to me that they weren't truly the Dragons. They would know exactly what I am about the moment I enter their presence. They should know the kind of man I am without me saying a word. I can put on a caring face, and that is good enough for them? The mask that I use to fool people into believing that I am truly a Dragonfearing man?
It's not simply that these are not the Dragons because the Dragons are not real. These are not the Dragons because they cannot look right through me and see my fraud. I've served in their name for years, I've helped so many in their name for years, and I haven't truly believed in Them at all in all that time.
I've ceased all my questioning though. How can I question them without revealing the only real reason I can disprove them?
Worse still, what if they are the Dragons, and They do see through me? What if they still think I'm good enough despite only using them as an excuse to help people?
...
